“But Janet, what if I’m not doing true kinship right??”
Ahhhhh, there’s that guilt voice popping up, loud and clear.
I hear that voice too. It pops up at the most inconvenient time, like when I’m trying my best to work through a true kinship predicament, something I’ve not encountered before. Or I’m denying my neurodivergent way of doing things, or I’m ignoring other aspects of my life that are asking for attention, or I’m not caring for myself in the way I need. And so on and so forth.
For me, the guilt voice shows up when I’m not accepting the reality of what is and I’m sliding into the delusion of how life, or practice of true kinship “should” be.
As if there’s a “right” way. 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
True kinship is its own essence with its own give and take way of being.
That’s easy for me to forget, deny or ignore, especially when I’m in doing mode instead of being mode.
It’s also hard for me to admit true kinship is a way better orchestrator than I am. When operating from that ‘should’ place, I tend to experience the world through tunnel vision - what works for Janet and Janet’s perception of what true kinship should be.
Meanwhile, true kinship views the world through a kaleidoscopic lens, taking into account all that is.
Here’s the thing: when that ‘shoulding’ voice bellows forth, I’m treating true kinship as a possession to be manipulated. I’m denying its agency and the partnership that could be.
Here’s another thing: it’s not my place to dictate to true kinship what its essence is or how it chooses to show up in the world.
When I take those actions, I’m a manipulator, not a partner in true kinship.
Do you find yourself in a similar boat? We all end up there from time to time. If you are in that place or a similar place, you might find some help here:
Take a break and do what gives you life. What takes you to a different place of being, makes you think no time has passed when in reality it’s 3 hours later? Might it be hiking? Painting? Running? Hiking? Snoozing in a hammock? Whatever refreshes and revives you.
Pay attention to the ‘shoulds’. ‘Shoulding’ is normalized in colonized culture and we often don’t recognize we’re doing it to ourselves. (Or is that just me??? 🫤 🫠 🤦) When you become aware of the shoulds, try counteracting the shoulding by asking ‘Why?’ or ‘Who says so?’
Join the online community Kindred for a month. In the Kindred Community you are with like-minded folx who are dealing with their own shoulds and can share with you what’s helped them in similar situations. Beginning at only $15.00 USD monthly, Kindred has monthly teachings, an ever-growing library of tools and resources, plus a live group Q&A sessions. (Here’s what’s offered in all the Kindred levels.)
Join Kindred for a month, participate in your way, at your speed and notice what changes for you during that time. AND, if you join before August 13, you’ll be in time to join the monthly Q&A session!
I can’t wait to see you there!
If you find value and support in this newletter, please forward it to a friend or three. If you’re the friend (hello there friend!) you can learn more about my work and subscribe to your own copy here.
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Thank You For Supporting The Free Teachings!
The work I do here is how I choose to show up in the world and support myself. The income I receive brings relief as it enables me to meet my financial responsibilities.
Every week you find my free teachings on the site, the podcast, in this newsletter and on social media. These are free because I want to nurture the practice of community and collaboration as best I can in a society that values power-over, competition and individualism.
I recognize there are folx who want to work with me but cannot afford a 1:1 session or a visit to the shop. These free teachings are a stopgap that gives you the teachings you’re looking for while giving me the means to meet my financial responsibilities.
I honor the integrity and wisdom of the teachings as well as the time I have spent learning, tending and passing them forward. If you are in a position to pay what you can for them I ask you to do so in a reciprocal exchange of energy.
Thank you!
About me…..
I am an animist, podcaster, intuitive practitioner and mentor identifying as she/they and respectfully acknowledge I am supported and sustained on the traditional and ancestral territory of the Séliš (Salish) and QÌispé (upper Kalispel or Pend d’Oreille) People who have stewarded this land throughout the generations.
As a practitioner of true kinship with animals, I pledge to recognize the descendants and practices of the original Peoples, Lands and Animals. I will not knowingly appropriate their wisdom, nor will I knowingly speak over their voices. When I have participated in colonialism practices, I will be accountable by publicly acknowledging the harmful practice, apologizing, and doing the needed reflection and self work to do better in the future.
For 30+ years I have facilitated clear conversations between animals and people. In my work I encourage people to recreate a bond with animals by disengaging from colonized approaches and relating in true kinship.
I am cheerfully owned and managed by a multitude of angel animals and several houseplants.
janetroper.com Kindred Membership Site Shop Podcast Blog
We all do better when ALL creatures do better.
If you find value and support in this newsletter, please forward it to a friend or three. If you’re the friend (hello there friend!) you can learn more about my work and subscribe to your own copy here.